Tides
by French Karma
Summary: Bella is transformed. And Edward doesn't like it. [Bella POV One shot]


**Disclaimer:** I _wish_ I owned Edward. And that he was real.

- - -

"Bella?"

I stopped folding my clothes and stiffened. I was waiting for this moment to come ever since the weekend before.

"Bella?" Edward knocked at the door. How he could be so polite when I knew he was absolutely furious with me, I will never know.

I hesitated. "Come in."

Edward opened the door and leaned in. His face was paler then usual and his lips were drawn taught. I noticed his eyes dark were an onyx color – he wasn't happy and I knew why.

He walked in and sat down on my bed, but I kept packing, trying to busy myself into not yelling at him.

"Bella," he began. I started to hate the way he kept saying my name, like I was a child.

"What is it Edward?" I snapped unintentionally. I sighed and added softly, "I'm busy right now."

He stopped for a moment to take a deep breath and then he looked at me with his scorching eyes. "Where is Alice?" he demanded, but I knew he knew. I tried my best not to let my hand flutter to my neck unconsciously.

"She's went hunting with Jasper and Esme. Why?" I said as calmly as I could. How long would I be able to keep the secret up? How long would it be till he noticed that Alice had agreed to change me? It couldn't be long... that's why Alice went hunting with Esme and Jasper this weekend. She knew that Edward would find out sooner than necessary. I said it wasn't even necessary for Edward to know, but we all know that isn't true.

"Why did she go?" he asked again, his calm collected voice so full of hurt and anger.

"Well, I don't know, maybe because she was thirsty!" I shouted sarcastically. "Or are you vampires lying to me again?"

Edward's jaw tightened and his eyes never left mine. My fingers began to tremble under the glare, so I tore my eyes away and started to neatly fold my shirts, knowing I would soon cross the line between hurt and anger to complete and total destruction and chaos. I didn't want Alice to be hurt – I could handle Edward's anger to by myself, because I knew he wouldn't and couldn't hurt me, but for Alice... I wasn't sure why kind of fury he would release on her for this.

"You're lying to me," Edward said darkly.

I sighed, trying to sound nonchalant and annoyed, but my acting skills were never ones to be excelled or praised upon. Even Edward said so himself that I couldn't act to save my life – now that was the case, but I was more worried about Alice.

"Tell me what you're thinking," Edward ordered. He was facing me now, my chin cupped in his cool hands. I would never ceased to be amazed at how he could always take my breath away.

I pulled away and turned back to my suitcase. "No, Edward. I'm not going to tell you."

"You're hiding something from me!" He roared and I cringed. "Bella, you better damn well tell me right now what is going on!"

I couldn't look at him – I knew I hurt him. I promised myself I never would, but what does he know? How would he know... he never understood that if I weren't like him, forever wasn't impossible for us. And I wanted it to be possible, I couldn't live without it being possible. I couldn't just grow old, while he stayed young. I knew he would realized that when it was too late... I made the decision myself, to save him another century of pain and go through the fifteen minutes of anger.

Edward looked at me for a moment before letting out another deafening roar. I cringed against my own will, hoping that Carlisle didn't hear Edward's anger. "She changed you, didn't she?"

I shook my head, trying so hard to protect Alice. I couldn't let Alice be hurt by Edward – I had to protect her.

"Bella!" Edward screamed, grabbing my arm and spinning me to face him. I gasped at the look of fury and resentment etched into the fine contours of his face and how his eyes flashed menacingly at me. "Why did you do this? Why?"

I looked away, fighting back the tears. I can do this – for Edward. He'll know soon enough.

Edward shook me. "BELLA!" He roared. "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?"

I spoke for the first time. "I did it _for_ you! So we can be together forever, because trust me Edward, humans live and grow old and _die_."

Edward growled deep in his throat. He pushed my arm away and rubbed his temples roughly. "The way it's supposed to be, Bella."

"But not for us!" I cried, stepping forward. I reached out for him, but pulled my hand away. "It's better this way."

"How can it be?" Edward roared, charging across his room and slamming the wall with his fist. His collection of CDs shook and shattered to the floor. "How can it be better this way when I specifically asked you not to?"

"It's not your decision anymore Edward!" I screamed back, realizing we were having our first real fight. "It's mine, it was always mine!"

Edward didn't answer me, but walked around the room at a human pace.

"Can't you see, Edward? Can't you see this is good for us?" I tried to smile, but it faded away when Edward glared at me. "You said you wanted forever with me – now we can have forever. We are equal, we are one in the same now."

"I'm going to kill Alice," Edward muttered darkly, ignoring my comment.

"NO!" I screamed, racing to him, but he was already out of my grasp, darting across the room at unimaginable speed. I spun around, facing him, my face flushed with anger. "Don't, Edward! Do not hurt her for my mistake, for my choice!"

"She promised she wouldn't! She said she would never turn you into what I am," Edward ended feebly.

"What are you Edward?" I asked quietly, stepping towards him.

He looked at me, his ebony eyes emotionless. "A monster."

"We are monsters together then," I said.

Edward shook his head, looking away. "No. No, we can't."

I racked my brain for something to convince him this was okay, this was right. What we needed. What I wanted. What he would soon accept in me. "You don't have to feel tempted around me, by my smell. You can touch me without being scared."

"That's not the point Bella! This – this endlessness – it's not you!"

"How do you know what's not me? Maybe this is me, I want this to be me!"

Edward didn't say anything for a moment. The silence was almost unbearable as he stood facing his large window and I cried behind his back. I wanted so dearly to make it better, to go back to me. I thought about all that I had given up - Charlie, Mom and the fact of sleeping, which was hard to adjust too - and I looked at Edward, hoping beyond hope that he would've understood why I did this.

He should've understood.

Then, he was gone.

"Edward!" I screamed, spinning around.

But I knew he couldn't hear me.

- - -

This was going to be longer, but I think it's best to keep it in one-shot form.


End file.
